


Paint

by tsukuru



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, But is it really?, F/F, Poor mina, Unrequited Love, im so sorry, lowkey namo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukuru/pseuds/tsukuru
Summary: Mina loves to paint.Nayeon doesn't realize.





	Paint

**Author's Note:**

> uhm this is also on aff by the name of tenseiryuu... i also decided to post it here because someone made me to.  
> this is a really short drabble i made at some point, idk. but its tragic minayeon so,,
> 
> enjoy c:

Art is the creation of something beautiful and meaningful using your imagination and heart as a tool to express something you couldn't normally say. Exposing your heart out and paint on the white canvas, as a representation of what you are and how you view the world. 

One painting tells you the hidden words of a sole person, words they cant afford to say - for the sake of the one's they love, of just simply for themselves. 

Maybe that's why Mina likes art so much. 

                                                                                                                                   *  
For the 20 years she and Nayeon have known each other, Mina has painted for every moment Nayeon would break her heart. 

For every false hope, for every shattered dream, for every longed kiss and love. 

For every feeling Mina couldnt convey or show, there's a paint that speaks more than words. 

  
                                                                                                                                   *  
The first year she had met Nayeon, she swore she disliked the girl. She was too loud, too noisy, too damn touchy to Mina's liking. She always avoided her, and left whenever she sat with her friends on her table. 

Whenever she saw her, she'd feel rage. She'd feel something burning inside her, a desire of some kind, a strange feeling crawling up to her heart and squeezing her chest tight. Of course, being Mina the reserved being she is, she shoved down those feelings and shut them inside a small cage at the back of her brain. 

But Nayeon was more than just a feeling to Mina. Nayeon meant more than Mina could ever possibly think of. To Mina, she was a remembrance. A reminder of how she would've been if she lived a normal life, of how miserable she is right now. She made her feel inferior to everything. She doesn't know how the girl's personality sends shivers down her spine.

_(Deep down, she knows.)_

Nayeon's presence was enough to make Mina's blood boil. 

_(But that didn't last long.)_

So she painted her very first work, pouring over it every word she couldnt speak, every sentence she'd to bite back because for some reason, for some fucking reason, she couldnt hurt Nayeon. 

She would never even think of hurting Nayeon. 

Why?

Because the girl is only what Mina could ever wish to be, and she isnt the one to blame for  this.

Plastered upon a -not so- white canvas, there was a girl's face with two big hands cupping each side of the girl's head. The girl's expression is unreadable but if you analyse it, she's hiding what she feels and she's letting those big hands hold her back. The girl's lips formed a thin line, somewhat making you think she wants to say something but can't, because once again, there's a person holding her back. 

In order not to hurt others, 

the girl ended up hurting herself. 

_(In the end, Mina could emphatize.)_

                                                                                                                                   *

  
2 years after, a drunk Nayeon comes to their shared apartment and kisses Mina senseless. 

Hands roaming for skin to touch, lips numbing over hard, passionate kisses, and faint moans, Mina gave in to her most powerful desire - to touch Nayeon. 

To have her in her needy kiss. 

Mina learned how being happy felt like. 

These quick, long, passioned nights with each other continued for months. Maybe Nayeon was only doing it for fun. But Mina didn't care. 

She didn't care because Nayeon was touching her, kissing her, wispering I love you's and I'm so glad I have you in Mina's ear - she was with her, and that's all that mattered to Mina.

_(And again, it didn't last long.)_

                                                                                                                                 *

  
1 year later, Mina -finally- learned what love was. It felt so amazing how she would feel safe everytime Nayeon would hug her, touch her, talk to her. How she showed concern when Mina got sick, how she takes care of her when they hang out. How magnificent it was to have someone worry for you, showing you a side they don't show to others so often. Nayeon was like a movie and Mina felt as though she was the only one worthy to watch her. 

But that was only Mina fooling herself. 

She also learned how painful love is. 

'Hey Mina! I want you to meet someone,' Nayeon says, her red lips showing a big smile that could blind anyone if you aren't protected enough. 

Smiling at how excited the older girl looked, Mina hummed and motioned Nayeon to continue, 'Who?' 

A grin. 

'Myoui Mina, meet my _girlfriend_ , Hirai Momo!', she finishes, holding her phone up to show a picture of Momo. 

 **Thud**. 

_(Mina's heart breaks.)_

Mina swallows hard the lump on her throat, somehow managing to force a smile for Nayeon. 

'T-that's great, Nayeon!'

Nayeon runs towards her to wrap her arms around Mina's neck, pestering her with kisses. Mina's mind turned black and all she could hear before she -emotionally- blacked out, was a happy Nayeon mumbling in the crook of her neck, 'I'm finally happy.' 

Mina holds back a cry, and wraps her arms around Nayeon, savoring every part of this moment.

_(Because that's the only time Nayeon would ever hug her like that.)_

Once again, she paints. In her canvas, a portrait of Nayeon's happy face was drawn. 

In between Nayeon's plump red lips, a cigarette is placed and underneath it, there are the old ashes of a burned stick - representing Momo and Mina, respectively.

Nayeon once told her that being with Momo was as refreshing as a morning cigarette, and that she gives life to her world with only breathing. 

Mina thought it was cheesy, but now that she's seeing it in her craft, she understands. 

Momo is her cigarette, and Mina is the old one Nayeon tossed around because it was quick to burn out. 

'You're finally happy...'   
                                                                                                                                          *

  
9 years later, Nayeon and Momo finally engaged. Nayeon told her the big news in a rainy day, outside their -not so shared anymore- apartment, a big smile breaking Nayeon's face and shooting its way to Mina's heart, in where she could cherish, for a brief moment, that perfect smile that reaches the girl's eyes only for the rain to pour it down like a washed out paint. 

She wants her to be happy. 

_(She doesnt)._

'We're going to do the ceremony on March 24th!', her smile not wavering as she adds, 'because that way, I'd get to celebrate two specials dates!'

Mina bits her shivering bottom lip, inwardly hoping Nayeon wont catch the small glimpse of unhappiness she doesnt want the older girl to see because, its Nayeon. It's Nayeon. And she's happy. 

But sadly, Mina never catches a break. 

'What's wrong, Mina? You don't seem very happy about it'

Love is really cruel, isn't it? 

'No', Mina says while the rain washes away her silent tears, 'no, Nayeon, I'm happy for you, it's just-', a pause, 'it's just that it's so sudden, it took me off guard'

_(Liar.  
She knew this day would come) _

Nayeon shouts a yell of happiness and runs to hug Mina. Wispering another series of I love you's and Thank you for always being there, she breaks from the hug. 

'Momo's waiting for me outside. We're gonna tell our parents!' 

And with that, she leaves. 

Mina breaks down, becomes one with the soggy and wet floor, with the gray sky and she feels as though the raindrops are piercing their way through her skin making her realise,

she doesn't need no canvas, for she herself is one. 

A small, white canvas the rain cleans away.

                                                                                                                                       *

  
March 24th, Nayeon and Momo married without troubles. 

Mina thought her past with Nayeon was that, past - until she saw her with her white, perfectly laced wedding dress. It attached Nayeon's body as if the dress was only made for her, and Mina swore she has never seen anyone look so beautiful like this. 

Mina wanted to give her the world, to kiss her and hug her, but they arent like that - she's not Mina's, but she's someone else's favorite person. 

So she only supported her like any other normal best friend would do, even if it hurt her. 

_(If only it were as simple as that)_

                                                                                                                                      *

  
'I'm going back to Japan', Mina tells the older girl and she swears she could see a bit of disappointment in Nayeon's eyes - a silent s _omething_ that tells Mina that maybe, just maybe, Nayeon _once_ reciprocated her feelings, but she is Nayeon, she's Momo's Nayeon and it can't be anything else. 

_(For Mina's sanity, it can't be anything else)_

Nayeon yells, she opposes, but Mina's mind is determined to get away from this. She thought that after 7 years, seeing Nayeon and Momo as a happy couple wouldnt upset her, but it still did. 

She cried every night to her sleep, the white sheets covered in white, almost invisible, stains that are a remembrance of her dark life. 

'I'm sorry', she mutters, hoping the other girl would understand. 

_(She needs to understand)._

Nayeon shouts something Mina couldnt (or decided?) to hear, because this was it and she wouldnt be able to look straight at Nayeon's eyes after all what happened. 

For _her_ sake, Mina leaves. 

For her own peace of mind, Mina decided to leave the person she cared the most. 

But not without a last painting, hanging on Mina's one room apartment, a pain that portrays more emotions than any of the things Mina has ever said or done. 

One paint that she let Nayeon see, the only one she will ever see, that Mina knows it'll break her heart. 

_(She wants it to happen)_

-

A black and white drawing. A sad, angry, desperate eye, looking like its frowning, a single tear escaping from it. 

A small, lonely tear. 

Inside the eye are Nayeon and Momo's wedding picture, how happy they look, with the exact clothes and scenary - but they're very small, almost unrecognisable. 

And it suddenly hits Nayeon. How could she have never seen this? The portrait was always there, Mina always observed it and Nayeon would mock her for treating a plain paint as something important. 

( _"It's a paint, Mina. What's so important about it?"_

_Mina smiles, a sad smile and Nayeon is almost obvlious to the meaning behind it. "A paint, no matter how plain it may seem, it's always important for the artist.")_

That's when she realises that this is all Mina could ever do to say what she's feeling. 

The eye in the painting is Mina's. 

Nayeon's mind goes blank as her fingers trace along the black lines on the canvas, until it stops on a small sentence, written at the bottom of the painting and it makes Nayeon's heart stop and she stills.

' **To Nayeon.  
I love you' **

To Nayeon, the coward who knew what Mina was feeling. 

To _her_ , the one who only brought Mina misery. 

To _her_ , the one who escaped Mina's embrace out of fear. 

To the one who decided to ignore everything Mina has ever done for _her_ , because she thought whatever it'd bloom between them would only ruin their precious friendship. 

'Fuck...' 

To the one who used Momo, even though she  _loves_ her, as a band aid to mend her broken heart and mind. 

'I had Momo, while you... were alone' Nayeon cries out loud, hands trembling and knees hitting the ground, 'I'm so sorry'

She swallows the lump on her throat. 

'I'm so sorry, Mina' 

She hugs the painting. 

_'I love you, Mina'_

_(Love is mean.  
But Nayeon? Nayeon was crueler)_


End file.
